My confidence levels, which were low before, have plummeted to the bottom of the ocean, taking with them my ability to love and see light in the darkness, two features I would previously have called two of my best. Losing that, among other things, has led to me losing myself. I wrote a post called "Finding Yourself" when I thought I was on the way up but since then I've just fallen. And I continue to fall to the point of near extinction. And I fail to see how it will ever improve. I've gone from taking a photo a day to not even one a week. I've lost my passion, my ability to create. Now all I can do is destroy. I'm burning my heart and crying an ocean, waiting for something to help me fight my way through it. But nothing comes. I find myself crying for no reason. Just crying. Listening to two songs on repeat, almost as if I can't think anymore. With no confidence, no hope or optimism left to carry me and no heart or soul, who am I? I'm watching myself waste away whilst I cry over the emptiness inside of me yet I can't seem to escape, no matter how hard I try or how close I get. I can pretend to be fine and even feel fine for short periods of time but I always come back to this. Always. And I can't see an end.
My only advice to you would be to stay strong, even if I can't. For "it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart" - Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
